Friday, October 9, 2009

14. Sayings Nov 14 Tue

(4:55 pm Nov 14, 2006)

(7:12 pm Nov 14, 2006)

Whoa Nellie! Serious time disturbance there.

"Loose goat don't know what tie goat feel." (CB Matthew Kelly : DT ??)

I need to take some time now to catch you up on a few things gentle reader. Due to the time issues involved in the writing of this novel and in life in general right now, I have been unable to keep you up to date on things at the proper times. Sorry about that.

Now, last night when Petro got back home, the pickle was gone. So was the little flag on the tooth pick.

"It's pickle time."

He was caught by the oddity of the whole thing. Pickle time. he opened his front door and noticed a piece of paper on the floor. Someone must have slipped it under the door. He picked it up and looked at it. There was a picture of a pickle with arms and legs dressed like a gangster from the old movies. A hat cocked off to the side. A stogie. A tommy gun. There was a little cartoon speech bubble that said, "It's pickle time!"

This was getting interesting. Pickle time...

(7:22 pm Nov 14, 2006)

Let's leave pickle time for a while and go back to the happenings on that mega yacht from a few days ago. It turns out that there was a microwave oven in the room where the meeting was taking place. Even stranger, there was a penguin in the microwave oven. Now when I say the penguin was in the microwave oven, he was not in the part where things get put to get cooked. Nope, not at all. He was back in with the electronics. Now, gentle reader, the penguin in question was named Fryer Tucks.

Fryer Tucks was a sort of poor man's secret agent type of penguin. When he introduced himself or people were told who he was, they often thought that he was that other Tux that was caught up in that Linux deal. He was of two minds about that. Sometimes it bugged him and sometimes it made him laugh. In any case, he wasn't related to that other penguin at all, but he had never once said or done anything to disabuse anyone of their notions in the matter.

(7:34 pm Nov 14, 2006)

A few people even thought that he was one of Robin Hood's men. What a hoot!

So, gentle reader, Tucks was hiding out in the microwave oven. Spying on that meeting. Learning things that he wasn't supposed to know. Things that no one outside of that cabin was supposed to know. Things that could get a body killed. Or worse.

We will explore the implications of the good Fryer's spying at a future time.

I need to take you now to somewhere where we should not go.

You have already been exposed to the dragon's secret underground cave. We are going to go there, but when we get there, we are going to go to their secret secret, under under ground laboratory. No not their secret secret, under under ground lavatory. There is a secret secret secret, under under under ground lavatory, but it is down one more level. Through a hidden trap door under a treasure piled on a flying carpet.

(7:52 pm Nov 14, 2006)

"Mouth could say anything." (CG Godfrey Kelly : DT ??)

As we sneak into their secret secret, under under ground laboratory, we find Nano and Drake hard at work over a work surface cluttered with more stuff than you can shake a stick at. Chemicals, electronics and electrical parts, shiny stones, dried plant matter, subaqueous and superaqueous, subterranean and superterranean.

This, gentle reader, is where they cook up the smells and other designs and devices which they use to further their people dividing activities.

Quiet, gentle reader, we do not want them to suspect we are here.

"Hey Nano, those directed late blooming smells we were using to keep Petro and Loqui apart were working out quite well don't you think?"

"Yes, Drake, they were working fine as far as I am concerned."

"The thing is, I have been thinking that there might be some ways to improve on things. I have been bummed ever since that night we slipped up and let those two speak to each other like that. I keep wanting to go back even now and mess with things between those two."

"I hate to admit this Drake, but me too. Do you think it would be worth trying? We might not be found out. I hate to be defeated by a moment's inattention like that."

(8:16 pm Nov 14, 2006)

"You know what Nano? Let's do it! Let's take that chance. You only live once!"

"Nano! Drake! What? Are you two working against me this year? What is the meaning of this?"

"Huh... zotz? What are you doing here? How did you get in here? Zotz! Who is that with you. I don't believe this! You brought Gentle into our secret secret, under under ground laboratory? How could you!"

"Oh no you don't! Don't even try that! No changing the subject on me guys. What in the world have you been doing messing with my other characters without my knowledge?"

(8:22 pm Nov 14, 2006)

"Get out! And take Gentle with you. Don't you ever come up in here again! this is secret. You can't go revealing dragon secrets like that! Don't you know anything about the code?"

"Oh, I'll go alright, and I will take my friend here with me. Who knows that you might try to do to him if I left him alone with you. And a book would be nothing without its readers. just remember one thing boys... Although readers are essential to a novel, characters come and characters go."

"Is that supposed to be some sort of a threat zotz? You know Nano, I think that was meant to be a threat. Zotz, you two better go before we get hot! Trust me on this."

"Yeah, yeah. Come on, gentle reader, I've got places to go and people to see and I will clue you in on a few more things tonight.

(8:29 pm Nov 14, 2006)

"Its not what ya know, it's who ya know. "CB Duane Roberts : DT ??)

Now, on to Danger. We left her in a situation the other night. A situation where she was soon to be in danger. Danger in danger. Almost as good as the banana mystery.

Well, you know they say oil and water don't mix. I am here to tell you what hair dryer and water don't mix either. Especially not plugged in hair dryer. Them two don't mix at all.

Danger came close to being served in that helpful establishment that night. Luckily for her, her reflexes were still sharp even after she had been through all that she had been through that day.

Doc and Nipps on the other hand, weren't so lucky. They are in a certain private hospital as we speak, being attended by certain doctors. They are in the intensive care unit should you wish to visit. Ask for the patients that are pests. You should be directed to their location if they are still there when you go to visit. You could always call ahead to see if they have survived or been discharged so as not to waste a trip.

(9:20 pm Nov 14, 2006)

Danger was sorry to see her two new acquaintances injured in that manner. Especially since she rightly felt partly responsible. I hear she is up at Elbow Cay still, hitting the juice pretty hard. Perhaps if you can't get by to see Doc and Nipps, you could swing by up that way and see if you can gently console her. I hear tell that all cows eat grass so you might want to take a few bales with you.

So seriously gentle reader, have you signed up with and started a novel of your very own yet? You don't have to do the banana mystery book if you don't want, I was only trying to be helpful, not bossy.

9:29 pm Nov 14, 2006)

I don't know if you have ever seen a tipsy cow before gentle reader, but it is not a pretty sight. It is a sight to behold though. And further more, such a cow renders cow tipping little more than child's play. The challenge is gone. The thrill is gone. Don't even bother. Anyone who sees you tip a tipsy cow will laugh at you and not at the tipping cow. Then they will spread nasty rumours about you on the blogs. And if one of them happened to video tape the incident... You are in big trouble. There could be peter bites of you streamed all through the tubes of teh intarweb. Perhaps even more than that. Those fifteen minutes of fame will be unbearable.

"One hand can't wash." (CB Laverne Gardiner : DT ??)

Yeah, but you should hear the sound of one hand clapping in the woods when there is no one there to hear it!

You may think that this is impossible, but I have reliable evidence that there are bugs everywhere in the woods. Think about it.

(9:42 pm Nov 14, 2006)

(9:52 pm Nov 14, 2006)

I can't afford to let the time get slippery again tonight. It was very slippery earlier. Just about five hundred words to go now gentle reader. I'm five hundred words from my goal. Sometimes it seems like I am in gaol but that is another thing all together. No, I am not in my all together at this time. I do have to shower before I go to bed still, but I hope to reach that elusive goal before I get wet tonight. That is one reason I can't afford to let time get too slippery for the rest of the night. I can't afford to go to bed with wet hair where I am still not fully recovered from being sick for so long now.

So, what else should we look at before the day is done? Loqui? Chloe? Bruddah Bing and Bruddah Boom? Bill Techero and Franke Rolle?

Chloe was not used to men treating her like Petro was. Usually they jumped to please her. At least in the beginning. Especially when they knew who she was. Petro was not behaving according to her expectations. It was aggravating. Totally. She would have to talk to her mother about him when she got back from Outer Mongolia. Chloe's mother was on a world tour inspecting the family's holdings in the blue nylon thread industry. These holdings were vast. They formed the foundations of her family's enormous wealth.

(10:04 pm Nov 14, 2006)

What follows if from the highly respected book 'The History and Economics of Blue Nylon Thread' quoting an earlier article 'Concerning The Establishment Of A Blue Thread Factory In Outer Mongolia'.

[We intend to take every financial advantage upon which we can pounce in the year to come. Our plans call for us to play a major role in the supply of nylon and blue colouring to the factory. We also intend to be a major purchaser of the finished product of the factory. Then of course there are power requirements, labour requirements, security requirements (especially in light of the fact that the LQZ has recently destroyed the blue thread factory in Niger-hamath), data facility requirements, etc. The opportunities seem endless at the present time. ]

And from the same source.

[There remains at least one major hurdle - can we help the people of Outer Mongolia to strike a profitable bargain with the Lithuanians? Our intelligence assessments indicate that it will be possible to bring about a reasonable contract after prolonged negotiations. (Perhaps we should employ the services of Kissntell.) Our plans will amount to naught if an agreement is unable to be reached.]

It was unknown at the time, but Chloe's family pounced first and they pounced faster and harder than any other group in the known world. That other groups alien investors never came through which slowed them down tremendously.

(10:11 pm Nov 14, 2006)

So gentle reader, I think I will leave you here tonight. There are things to ponder in what has been revealed today. Ponder deeply I might add. Good luck.

Good night.

(10:14 pm Nov 14, 2006)

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